The Parenting Journey: Welcome to Wellness

The Oklahoma State University Extension Service is excited to present this educational series for Shawnee News Star readers.  As many of you know, parenting is like a journey with new stops, sites and challenges along the way.  This parenting education series will focus on several stops, or issues to help parents navigate their way on their parenting journey. 
One of the most neglected issues of parents is focusing on their wellness.  With busy schedules, work and family demands it is easy to put your own personal needs at the end of the long “to do” list.  Research shows that parents who regularly practice the following three habits are happier, healthier and enjoy their journey more.  
1.  Be healthy. When we take good care of ourselves, we can be better parents and set a good example for our children. We should try our best to eat well, get plenty of rest and exercise regularly. We should also make time in our lives for things we love.
2. Keep learning and growing. Continuing to learn and explore enriches our lives and shows our children the value of lifelong learning. Let’s be on the lookout for something new to learn.
3. Build strong relationships. We are strengthened by our friends and family. In addition, when our children see us forming and nurturing healthy relationships with good people, it teaches them lessons about the importance of relationships.
Parenting is hard work. There are so many things to take care of and the demands don’t stop at night. There is no one else who can easily take over and give you a break. It is hard to know how to deal with some situations. Furthermore, most of us don’t have any training on being parents.
All of these challenges can combine to make a person tired and discouraged. They can also make a person irritable and angry. There are several areas that are important to being a good parent, including information (books and knowledge), resources (a crib, a safe house and diapers), social system (friends and family that you can count on), health (energy and well-being), and purpose (enjoying parenting and having a strong spiritual life).
Know your strengths. As you think about your parenting, consider what strengths you have. Maybe you have lots of good information on caring for children and you have good friends and family members who are glad to help you. It is important to know what your strengths are.
Know your needs. We all have needs and limitations as well as strengths. Maybe you do not have a stroller for your baby and your energy has been low. Noticing those needs prepares you to do something about them.
Get help. All of us need help. In a job as difficult and important as parenting, most of us need lots of help. Use the strengths you have to help deal with your needs.  You may know mothers who can help you understand your health needs. Maybe friends and family members will take turns helping you so that you can get out once in a while.
Make time for your own growth. In the crunch of parenting it is easy to ignore our own needs. Make time to do things you enjoy. Arrange a few minutes every day for you to do an activity you like to do such as a nature walk, going to the library, taking music lessons, or visiting friends or family.  Find ways to use your talents.
Be patient. There are “seasons of imbalance” in parenting. A baby is generally 3 months to 1 year of age before being ready to sleep through the night.  Some behaviors become more challenging as children age or mature.  This can be tough on parents! That is why it is so important to know what your strengths are and to use these strengths to your advantage to deal with the demands of being a parent. Many challenging behaviors are simply “phases” of development and pass with guidance and patience from parents. 
Despite all the challenges of being a parent, most people still choose to have children. The reason is simple. There is nothing quite as amazing and satisfying as watching a human you love grow and develop.  Look forward to more Parenting Journey Stops in the future.  This adventure is just beginning! 
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Source: www.arfamilies.org <http://www.arfamilies.org/>  — University of Arkansas Extension Service.
Oklahoma State University, US Department of Agriculture, State and Local Governments cooperating: The Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service offers its programs to all eligible persons regardless of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, age, disability, or status as a veteran, and is an equal opportunity employer.