Dear Dog Lady,
Why am I so adamantly protective of my sweet Simon’s masculinity? Simon is a small dog, a Scottish terrier, and he seems to be in touch with his feminine side. Still, when we go walking and a passer-by asks to greet Simon while referring to “him” as “her,” I find myself making an immediate correction. “He’s a he!” I proclaim. Am I ridiculously rigid about these gender matters? After all, Simon is neutered. He’s not even a total he. Why can’t I let it go?
-- Moira
Ah, Moira, better “her” than a fully neutered “it.”
You’re protective because he’s your little guy. Simon’s identity is part of your identity. Try to chide the gender-benders with a smile and gentle sense of humor. You must admit private parts are difficult to discern at first glance on small, hairy dogs -- especially since we can’t sniff out the situation the way the dogs can.
Dear Dog Lady,
About four months ago, I met a divorced man I really like. That’s the good news. The bad news is Mike, my (maybe) man, seems more smitten by Sprinkle, my Cairn terrier, than me. I’m caught in an odd love triangle.
When Mike comes over, he greets Sprinkle with more affection than he shows me. I get a peck on the cheek. Sprinkle gets a full body rub. Mike invites Sprinkle to sit on the couch with him while he strokes and pets her while I sit across the room on a single chair and feel like a wallflower at the orgy. I am touched by Mike’s attentions toward Sprinkle, but I do feel slighted.
Mike has not introduced me to his children yet, nor to his mother and siblings. But Sprinkle has met them because Mike “borrowed” my dog to take to a family gathering. I sat home alone waiting for my dog and my (maybe) man to come back from their date. When the happy couple returned, I didn’t have the courage to ask Mike why he took Sprinkle to meet the family and not me. What’s wrong with this picture?
-- Beatrice
Beatrice, count your beatitudes. The man has bonded with your dog. That’s a lovely state of affairs. Dog Lady hears too often about romantic suitors who find the pet unsuitable. Still, Mike might be carrying this canine canoodling a bit too far.
